I think people should have opinions, don’t you? Well, maybe not, but that’s my opinion.
Not everyone who reads this blog comments on it. In fact, most of them don’t. But I’ll tell you what they usually do, and that’s write emails to us. So Thea forwarded some of hers to me, and combined with what I have, I thought it would be a good time to answer a few questions. Pay attention. Yours might be in here.
Wendy O. from Las Vegas writes –
Lacy, you and Thea are just so awesome. Have you two ever been here to Vegas?
Wendy, first of all, you show excellent taste just by the fact you wrote to me instead of Thea. Well, to be honest, you’d be hard-pressed to find Thea’s email address anywhere on this blog, and I’m always pushing her to correct that. Frankly, she has more addresses than a Chinese phone book, so I asked her to get a Gmail account so she could receive some, just from here. Unfortunately, Thea’s paranoid, and when she tried to set up a Gmail account, it asked for her phone number, which she refused to give them, so she’s not getting one there.
Anyway, to answer your question, yes, we’ve been to Vegas. Wonderful town. Thea has to use her fake I.D. to get in anywhere interesting, but that’s cool. She keeps trying to play the blackjack tables, and the casinos keep trying to tell her to go play the slots. Not that I’d accuse my sister of card-counting, but even I’m suspicious of that little, hand-held electronic device she has. It displays a set of numbers on the inside of her glasses, and they change when she taps her foot. She’s been trying to miniaturize a CPU so she can fit it into her cleavage (and face it, the girl has tons of room there, what with her tiny little C-cups and all) and keeps asking me when we’re going back there. I keep telling her that’s up to the casinos.
Net-Whiz from Anywhere writes us –
hi, thea!!!!!!!!!!!11~~ its y0r old buddy,net-wh1z. LOLOL.. why R inviol\/edi n a blog?????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????? OLOLOLOLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1~~~~~ r ypou selling out!?!?!???? olololololololololo…
Sorry, no foreign languages, please.
Julie W. from Tampa says –
I love your blog. When you have time, could you read my Twilight fanfic? I’d love your comments on it.
Let me just save you a whole lot of trouble, Julie. I’m sure you’re a talented writer. (Seriously. Some of the best writers do fanfics and some of them are awesome.) But the subject matter leaves a lot to be desired. I have nothing against Twilight. Some of my best bonfires come from burning Twilight books. (Sales of Twilight books have skyrocketed since I started doing that. Coincidence? I don’t think so!) But if you really want me to read anything with the word “twilight” in the title, you don’t want me to comment on what I read. Seriously, you just don’t.
Jeremy L. from Los Angeles says –
Hey, Lacy. I saw you and Thea in Big J the other day. I was so excited and so nervous! I think you’re both gorgeous. I just wanted to say “hello” but I couldn’t get the courage up to do it, so I snapped a few pics. I hope you don’t think I’m a wuss because of that.
Jeremy, was that you? I don’t think you’re a wuss, baby, but I do think you’re a stalker! Thanks for the email address, BTW. With Thea’s help, I managed to find your identity and you’ll be receiving a humorous letter in the mail from my lawyer, “Jolly Jack” Hirschfeld. Just have a ball reading it, and laugh your ass off at the fine print. Please note any pictures you took are now the legal property of Lacy Cornwall, LLC. and don’t forget to send them all in the envelope that “Jolly Jack” will provide. Accept no substitutes and keep no copies, please.
A Miss Miley Cyrus of Los Angeles writes –
What’s with all the stupid jokes at my expense on your so-called blog? Consider this a demand you cease and desist immediately.
Moving right along …
Ben Dover, via Thea’s email, says –
Thea, I really, really appreciate the video you sent me. Is that really Lacy dancing on that stage? Wow, she’s hot!
“Jolly Jack”, I got another one for you, baby.
Art T. from Baton Rouge says –
Lacy, I just have to say I love your blog. Do you and Thea play poker? And do you smoke cigars when you do?
Well, aren’t you a kinky little freak, Art? Love watching a girl smoke a cigar, huh? Cool.
Interesting you should ask those questions. Yeah, we get together with everyone else at Broomfield Consultancy about twice a month and play poker. We usually meet at Quentin’s house around seven P.M. on a Saturday, and sit down with some German ale and thick macanudos. We play all night, and it’s a blast.
For all of our comments about Babette’s lack of intelligence, the girl plays a mean hand of five card stud, and usually wins the most. Samantha and Babs don’t smoke cigarettes, but they both love a good cigar every so often, and the smoke gets kind of hazy in Quentin’s den.
Thea likes cigars too, and I have some cute pictures of her, cigar in her teeth as she looks over a hand of cards. If I can find ‘em, I’ll post them.
Cigars and I have a love/hate relationship. I love smoking one, but I know I’m gonna puke later. I don’t know why that is, but Quentin and Thea have both expounded on the chemical reasons for it. It’s a lot of fun to hear them rattle on about it while I leave an offering to the porcelain god in Quentin’s bathroom. Not for the squeamish!
Jason B. of Oklahoma City (OK) writes –
Lacy, I’d just love some nude photos of you. Did you ever get that photo-spread in EGL magazine sorted out?
Hi, Jason. No, that opportunity has come and gone, sad to say. I keep pestering Thea to help me set up a pay gallery website, but she just looks at me like I’m crazy and says nothing. I’m not talking porn here, I’m talking “artfully nude”, but still hot. Think Pamela Anderson without Tommy Lee and you can just visualize the classiness I’m thinking of. Now my friend Shadowcat keeps telling me to “never give away the goodies, baby”, so until I can get Miss Prude to handle the technical end of things, you can always drop by Pony Tails when you’re in the L.A. area. You’re not gonna see me nude off the stage, to be honest, but I’m still a lot of fun in a “Hey, what happened to my mailbox?” kinda way. I’ll provide the entertainment if you’ll provide the bail money.
Harry P. of London, England writes –
Blimey! You birds are crazy. Any advice to a 16 year old guy just trying to find his way in the world?
Yeah. Stop reading the blog! No offense (offence?), kid, but I’m the girl your mommy warned you about. Boo!
Well, that kinda wraps things up for now and I hope you’ll all keep reading (except you, Harry P.).